“When They Say 'No', But the Answer Is ‘Yes'

2011. I am forty-four years old, with two decades of therapeutic work with non-speaking children and their families. I am also following my doctoral research: I interview parents of children with severe physical disabilities, trying to learn more about their mutual ways of communicating.

When I meet the parents, we chat and watch together some home videos of their choice where the non-speaking children interact with family members or friends, at home or at school, celebrating special events, moving together, enjoying concerts - Musicking.

“Is your child musical?” I ask, and family by family, parent by parent, "No," they say. There is only one mother who hesitates suddenly, and giving it a second thought, she offers: “Maybe… not 'musical' as we would define it... but…”

"Is your child communicative?" I continue and ask. Again, parent by parent, "No," they state. Yet, because we meet three times in succession, our conversations and the time to reflect bear fruit. Gradually, the parents start to realize that yes, the children are communicative. Yes.

Their children: frail and ill, with restricted movement, their level of comprehension unknown, professionals had long since given up after years of trying, yet, as we watch the videos and recollect their life together, we gradually see how “No-communication” slowly transforms.